Parents might split up over money?
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My mom was having a talk with me and my brother(17 and 21 respectively). So currently we own 2 houses, but right now the house market price is down, so if they sell they will lose more money.
My dad has an addiction to the stockmarket and won’t stop. When my mom became a loan officer, he made her lie by putting different information, so the rate would be lower for our house. When they found out, they fired my mom, and she became really mad and whatnot.
My dad took 150,000 from the house for the stock market, and when our payment was more than what they made together, she asked for the money back. He gave 100,000, so we assumed he lost the rest. Then today my mom looked into his account and found out he was holding back 40,000. But even with that we will still be down 1,000 a month.
Before when my mom told him to stop, he threatened to either divorce or buy a gun and kill himself.
(I’ll be adding more in the details section)
Since me and my brother back then were young, my mom didn’t want us to be in a bad situation, so he agreed to whatever he said. But now that we’re old enough to support each other(meaning my brother supports some of my college expenses), she’s going to tell him to stop tonight.
My dad wants to sell our main house, but my mom, brother, and I figured that he would still be addicted to the stockmarket either way. So she’s going to say no to selling the house and ask for the money he’s been hiding.
My mom tried to get him some professional help before for his addiction, but he wouldn’t do it. So, now I’m afraid what he’s going to say tonight. I’m afraid he might lose his temper to the extreme and attack my mother. If he does, will I be able to punch/hurt my father so he’ll stop from hurting my mom? Will I go to jail?
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mark said:
Your Mom is entitled to defend herself. You are entitled to come to the defense of another person if you see them attacked. Just dont let it get out of contol.
It will be your word against his for the police report and he could claim that you attacked him .
The easiest prperty settlement in a divorce would be to each take one house and make an adjustment so that they value obtained by each is equal. Using market value and amount oweing on the mortgage.
A divorce sounds like a good idea, and her divorce lawyer should ask for an immediate injunction against using existing assets to fund further debt.
July 3rd, 2009 at 9:29 pm -
lnfinitelylnteresting said:
If you are afraid of physical violence it sounds like an intervention with a professional might be a better idea for your family. Playing the stock market can be a form of a gambling addiction and it can require professional help. There is a major problem if your Dad is hiding money. It’s dishonest and unfair. If things do go down tonight you need to be prepared to call 911 and not take matters into your own hands. If your father wants to keep his family together he will have to be open to getting some much needed professional help. Some employers even offer free counseling sessions via the company insurance. Just remember this is something that you can’t control and you can’t let it stress you out. You should be focusing on school and being 17, not all this drama.
July 3rd, 2009 at 9:29 pm -
Crazymomo said:
If any physical fighting starts you need to call the police. Don’t try beating up your dad, because one of you could end up hurt. Of course you need to protect your mother, but call the police first.
July 3rd, 2009 at 9:29 pm -
werewolfhooker said:
I am so sorry. You are a good young man. Get the phone in hand and dial 911 if you need to. Can they set some rules in advance of the discussion? Here, if one of us starts going haywire, the discussion is off until we get our cool back.
Safety is first. You dial 911 before you jump in to protect mom. Then you get her out of there. You do not stand toe-to-toe with dad and battle this out. Leaving is best if you can. If not, get the cops there and throw him in jail if he lays a hand on anyone.I am sorry for this horror and sorry your dad lost his damn mind. I think you and your mom need to protect yourselves from his financial disasters as much as possible. You can love him without letting him wreck everything.
If there are guns in the house, get them out now. Get keys in the car ignition or close at hand.
I wish you the best. Hang in there.
July 3rd, 2009 at 9:29 pm -
mamabear said:
You can help your mom by being there when she talks to him. Don’t hit him, just pick up the phone and call the police. Let them handle him. It’s better if they divorce. Your mom is lucky to have such a mature and responsible daughter. Good luck.
July 3rd, 2009 at 9:29 pm -
Monider said:
Call the police, then defend your Mom by getting her out of the house. Money is not the only issue here – your mother has lost trust in your father. Good luck..
July 3rd, 2009 at 9:29 pm
